


Angel in a Twist

by ranguvar82



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, Twister(game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24905005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranguvar82/pseuds/ranguvar82
Summary: The year is 1966. A new game, Twister, has been invented. Michael thinks it's some sort of sex thing. She asks Aziraphale to investigate. Crowley is, of course, more than happy to help.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 50
Kudos: 132





	Angel in a Twist

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fault of the lovely people on the Ineffable Husbands group on FB.

Angel in a Twist

Aziraphale hated going to Heaven. It was cold, white, and so. Very. Boring. But he had been Summoned by none other than the Archangel Michael, and so, after leaving a note for Crowley(just to be polite, no other reason) he stepped into the Circle and up he went. Now he was standing in his boss’s office, trying not to look bored out of his skull as she rambled on about, well, he really couldn’t tell. Though she did keep repeating the word ‘twister.’ Aziraphale wondered what tornadoes had to do with anything. Perhaps she wanted him to go to the States?

“Aziraphale! Are you even paying attention?” She snapped, and Aziraphale jolted.

“Yes, of course, hanging on your every word.”

“Really.” Michael had a unique ability to make a single word weigh as much as the Oxford Dictionary. The unabridged version. “And what have I been saying?”

“Er, something about tornadoes?” He jumped when she slammed her hands on the table, breaking it in half. “Okay, not tornadoes.”

“Twister! Have you heard of it?”

Aziraphale thought hard. “Err...I...well, sort of. I think. S’posed to be some sort of game, I think.”

Michael frowned. “Rumors have reached this office that it’s some sort of...demonic sex thing. And since you are assigned to the only demon stationed on Earth, I suggest you go find out **exactly** what the fiend is up to.” 

Aziraphale saluted and returned to his bookshop. Right. Find out if Crowley had anything to do with this...Twister thing. That would be an interesting conversation. “Hello, Crowley. Oh, Heaven was boring as ever. By the way, did you invent the game Twister as a means to recruit people into some sort of demonic orgy?” 

“Well, no I didn’t, but if you want to play a game I won’t object.” 

Aziraphale jumped at the voice behind him. He turned, looking at a very smug(and oh so beautiful, he had no right being that beautiful,  even with that ridiculous mustache ) demon. “C...Cr...Crowley!” Dear Her, why was his voice cracking like that? “ H...how long have you...umm...” 

“Long enough. So you want to play Twister with a twist, do you?” 

Aziraphale went red with embarrassment(not desire, shut up). “I most certainly do not! The idea is absurd! It’s...I would never...”

“Loser has to do one thing they hate. So if you lose, you have to..sell a book.”

“SELL A...” 

“ **Without** complaining.” 

Aziraphale sputtered. “B..but...oh, fine. If you lose, you have to go one whole week without yelling at your plants.” 

“OI, THAT’S NOT FAIR.” 

Aziraphale smiled like the bastard he was. “That’s the wager, Crowley. Now, do you have a game with you?” 

Crowley snapped a game into existence. “Right. We need a space to spread out the..tarp...thingie.” 

After several moments, they managed to clear a space large enough for the Twister canvas. Aziraphale blinked at the colored squares. “I shall go cross eyed if I have to look at that for much longer. The pattern is hideous.”

Crowley rolled his eyes. “It’s a game, Angel, not a dress. Okay, so according to the instructions we spin this wheel thingie...” he held up a cardboard wheel with the colors and a plastic arrow. “And call out the color and the limb that has to be placed on it. Hmm...use a miracle for that. Also says...oh dear.” Crowley grinned like a shark. 

“What?” 

Crowley smirked. “Says that in order to keep the ‘board’ from gettin’ dirty, it’s advised that...players take their shoes off.” 

“WOT?!” Aziraphale squawked, quite forgetting proper grammar. “Take my...I never...the idea...it’s...” Crowley smirked harder. “Oh, fine! This is ridiculous!” 

Crowley tried not to go bright red when Aziraphale untied his shoes, slipping them off his feet. He was wearing tartan socks. Tartan. Fucking. Socks, and Crowley, bless it, found that absolutely adorable. “Ngk.” He  wiggled his feet, removing his ‘shoes.’ “You can go first.  Umm...” Crowley spun the plastic arrow. “Right hand...red.” 

Aziraphale sat down on the ‘floor’ and placed his hand on the nearest red circle. “Oh, this is humiliating. What next?” 

“Angel?” 

“What?” 

“Err...rules say you can’t sit down. You have to...y’know...um...bend. Twist. ‘S the name of the game.” 

Aziraphale groaned. “You have got to be kidding. Oh, very well!” He stood, then bent as best as he could and placed his right hand on a red circle. “Now what?” 

Crowley spun the arrow. “I got...left hand yellow.” He bent, and Aziraphale bit back a moan at the sight. Lord, but that demon’s spine could move in some very...interesting ways. 

“’S not fair. You’re a snake, you’re all...bendy anyway.” 

Crowley smirked. “You wanna stop?” 

“Never. Spin the bloody arrow.” 

“As you wish. Left leg...blue.” 

Aziraphale stretched his leg back, his tartan toes barely brushing the blue circle. “Oh, this is humiliating. There’s no way this is a sex thing.”

Crowley spun. “I got..right leg red.” He scanned the mat, then grinned and scooted his right leg forward. Aziraphale gawked at him.

“What on earth are you doing?”

Crowley smiled like an angel. “Playing the game?” He replied, sliding his foot right under Aziraphale’s bent over body. “That’s okay, right? This was the closest red circle.” He arced his leg up, pressing it against Aziraphale’s stomach. “Not bothering you, is it Angel?” 

“No! It’s fine!” Aziraphale squeaked out. Crowley smirked at him. “Oh, just keep going, you fiend.”

“Right. You got...left arm green.” 

Aziraphale looked at the mat, then grinned. Two could play this game, he thought. Slowly, he bent forward and slid his left arm under Crowley, placing it on the green circle. “Your turn, my dear.”

“Hnngg...ummm...I got...right leg yellow. Oh, look at that. There’s a yellow circle right...here.” He draped his long, long leg over Aziraphale’s back and placed his toes on the circle. “Still good, Angel?” Bless it, why was his voice so squeaky all of a sudden? And did Aziraphale look as red as Crowley was? 

“Yes. Fine.” Aziraphale’s voice was shaking. “My turn, is it?” 

“Turn?” Crowley blinked. “Right. Um...right hand...red.” He had to call on every ounce of will he had to not combust when Aziraphale slid his hand **right between Crowley’s legs** and placed it flat on the red circle. “Angel?” 

“Hmm?” 

Crowley tossed the game board aside and pounced, pinning Aziraphale to the mat. “What do you say we call this a draw?” 

Aziraphale smiled sweetly. “My dear, I was just about to make that same suggestion.” 

‘ _Dear Archangel Michael:_

_ After several days of research, I have come to the conclusion that the human game known as ‘Twister’ is  **most definitely** a sex thing. I also suggest that you play it in Heaven. You lot could use some loosening up. _

_ Sincerely, Aziraphale.’  _


End file.
